Bound To Change

I guess my heart was bound to change...

You cant trust someone you dont respect....and if you cant respect someone you cant love them. Time has a way of passing by...until I dont remember why, or how to care anymore.

I change everyday by the things that happen to me...but I refuse to be reduced by it.

The roar dies, just for a second, and I think I can hear one of my own thoughts for once. But no. It was another fake illusion I made up in my head...or so I was made to feel. Thing is, I always feel weird sorts of compulsion to please people. In fact, I piss people off all the time because my pretty little compulsion is to make things right. You there, why are you crying? This situation can be remedied! Here, let me. I know it comes across as bossy, and I imagine people resent it (how could they not?) that I care less about them liking me than I do about the ease and orderliness of their existence. I don't like to see people stressed, or in chaos, or crying. So I will do whatever it takes to stop it. Even if, it turns out, that means absorbing the stress myself. I might be broke, but I will make myself broker to stop you from crying. The end result being that I get cranky and need to nap a lot. Most of my life, in fact.

Obviously, this is something I should be talking about to a therapist of some kind. But we'll save that for a time when I'm not sleepy and rich. So, um, anyway, I think I'm going to go climb in bed now...<3

Always & Forever <3

Ann-Anise