ann-anise,
as a fellow writer, I miss our time we used to have when I'd read your writing and we'd talk about our latest endeavors. so, I'm asking: where are you in life? you really seem to be on fire for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples. I just want to hear what's going on in your life: your loves, your fears, your wants, your dreams, your life-stuffs. no rush. I just thought I'd hear you out, or be someone you could vent to if that's what you need at this point in life; you've always been quite the loner ;)
At 2:15 this morning, I received this message from a friend on Facebook. After reading this, I rolled over in bed and replayed "you've always been quite the loner." It hurt. I know in my heart that the only reason it hurt was because it is true. This is my reply to the countless questions that so many continue to ask, but I never answer.
Where are you in life?
Since March of last year, I have grown and changed as a person. God has opened my eyes to a whole new world and I am blessed by His love. I still find myself lost from time to time but I have perfected the art of come backs. Recently, I decided it was a good idea to stop praying for patience. When one prays for something like patience, He truly shows what waiting is all about. One has no choice at that point but to accept the blessing and learn happiness throughout all endeavors.
I just want to hear what's going on in your life: your loves, your fears, your wants, your dreams, your life-stuffs.
I have a new love in my life; His name is Tanner Lee Savage. 8lbs 3oz born at 10:58 in the morning, 01/24/2011. My new nephew is adorable and I'm very proud to say I am his aunt. I do not get to see him very often for the simple fact I still work full time at Augusta ENT, and I attend ASU full time at night. Studying consumes my life and that leaves very little time for anything else. It's sad when I think about it.
Over time, my wants have never altered, though I have. I still want the same dreams I have always chased. As everyone else I'm sure, I want and strive to not only be happy, but also content. I still have dreams of being a nurse, getting married, having kids, and even after years of marriage, being crazy about the person I spend it with. I work on these dreams everyday.
I still babysit on the weekends. It is something I have learned to absolutely love. Kids are amazing and they never stop making me laugh. It is a true blessing for so many people to trust me with such big parts of their lives. Kids and adults alike, I enjoy the lessons God continues to teach me by the people He brings in and out of my life.
Ah, my fears...how I loathe this part of the questionnaire. Like my wants and dreams, my fears do not vary much from what they started out. My fears simply come from the idea I will not make my wants and dreams come true. The idea I will not be enough for someone, or that I am not strong enough to make my dreams happen, will continue to be fears that are all too familiar. These are shortcomings I discuss with God daily. As for the rest of my life, I try to take it day by day. If I try to do more than that, I stumble and sometimes fall. Which is also okay because I have learned how to pick myself up.
I just thought I'd hear you out, or be someone you could vent to if that's what you need at this point in life; you've always been quite the loner ;)
Ah, I always need someone to vent to. My mother is amazing at this. We still work together and have become very close the last few years. If someone would have asked either of us if we would be working together for several years, we both would have laughed. She has become a major strength in my life.
The loner part in this message hurt my feelings. Its a fear. Its a hurt. And this is something I have tried so hard to overcome throughout the years...but I haven't. I think it is genetic. So many of my older family members are the same. My family and I discuss the fact I obtained this gene...frequently. This is another fear and reason I continue to make efforts not to be this way. I wont lie, it is so easy being a loner. It comes natural to me. I figure it is an easy way not to get hurt. I realize one can not live like that forever, and being scared is showing lack of faith in Gods plan. This is why I continue to pray and make a conscious effort to be different from the loner label.
To my friend who sent these questions: Thank you for making me write this. I miss you and our talks more than you know.
Always & Forever,
Nise.
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