Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Love...& What Not


"You may as well give in, he is your long distance lover that you want to spend the rest of your life with. He is your steel-eyed, soft hearted, warm smiling, blank-minded, hyperactive, overreacting , curious, passive, talented, spontaneous, physically fit, good looking, good for nothing, bundle of worry."

Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.

There are kinds of love that are freeing, and there are loves that are frightening. This, uniquely, is both. The thought of ever feeling this heavy, unbreakable love for another person is tremendous. But every time I feel my heart get squeezed, I am grateful that it has been. I am more alive and more real as a result. <3

Always & Forever <3

Ann-Anise

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Decision Mountain


"Theres always gonna be another mountain...im always gonna make it move."

Sometimes I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. I feel almost broken, like somethings not right. So it's no surprise that during this afternoons rainy drive home I found myself in a climate controlled temper tantrum, hurling insults at my fellow passerbyers.

I surprised myself by being so upset. So mad at the universe for being unfair, for forcing me into deciding between my confusions. And hurt. Cause Im not only upset, alone on a rainy night, and having knee pain...im miserable from all the confusion going on in my head I cant decifer between to make any kind of desision about anything!

Always & Forever-

Ann-Anise <3

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Running Away


When I was a little girl I never realized the multitude of problems life would throw at me, or the types of problems I could and would get myself into. When everyone said life wasn’t easy, and to take my time, I just didn’t know to what extent they were talking about. I was oblivious to words of advice but not to things going on around me, not by a long shot.

When I was growing up I always thought running away would be the best thing that I could make happen for myself. I could be free. I thought of this amazing life away from the close knit town I had come to know and be apart of so well. I pictured this lavish life covering up everything I was running from.

Ha, at the time I was only what, twelve? To think of that now sounds crazy but I can understand the running away part. I still walk away from most things that bother me. It is better for me to walk away than to face something so hard at the time. Thats sad. You should always face your problems and never run away.

Im still working on that one.

Despite everything I’d always believed, running away from things is actually really hard to do. It’s the aftermath that causes all the agony.
Nothing about leaving baggage is easy. Nothing.
Always & Forever-
Ann-Anise <3

Monday, March 16, 2009


You probably didnt know...

I just spent the past five seconds of my life pushing my snoring dog off of me just long enough so I could type...

I watched Pretty Woman AT LEAST ten times this weekend because I was hurt and it was to nasty to go out...

I eat fudge sickles and dream bars by the box, at the same time...haha...
I love cheese toast more than is reasonable. I extremly outgoing, I ask billions of questions, and speak Spanish to my dog. I sleep a lot when I'm stressed. I stay home most Monday nights so I can watch the new episodes of House. I have two drawers full of underwear. I love to use the mouth wash for kids that doesnt burn :)

I have a counter full of perfume; I wear the same one every single day. I distrust women who talk too much or carry Louis Vuitton. That shit is too expensive to be that ugly.
I have really nice legs, okay cheekbones and bad posture. I am a terrible liar. I hate the sound of an alarm clock more than any other sound on the planet. I love to make people smile :)

Always & Forever-

Ann-Anise

Saturday, March 14, 2009


The worry over the near future is real. Very real. But being part of a "we" makes it somehow less scary. And adjustment periods or no, I know when he says that whatever happens, we'll be okay, it's true. We will. Sure, it'd be even better if he were like, 87 years old, a millionaire, and wheezing his last breaths from an oxygen tank. But I'll take what I can get.

Omission saves people from too much scrutiny, spares the people from being too aware of my own tendency to over-think, and it protects me from over-exposing a sometimes too-tender heart.

Always & Forever <3

Ann-Anise

Friday, March 13, 2009

Torn MCL & All That Fun Stuff

So its Friday around eleven thirty...im not at work and im not asleep....im sitting on my soft brown coutch with my leg propped up at an acute angle. This is not a comfortable position for me because I have been in the same position for hours...hours of the days that go by I lay in this position because I rather stay here than get out and about with my death trap crutches. Yes I it is a full body workout when you use thoughs crazy things.

So the dishes are in a pile, the laundry is taller than me...and I could think of a million things I would rather do...including being at work right now.

-Stuckkk Here-

Ann-Anise