some things are true whether you believe them or not.

I Am...
    short.impatient.active.lingering.snappy.deliberate.wild.chance.unforeseen.planned.

assurance.coincidence.deviation.conjunction.fight.refusal.

resistance.humility.sufficiency.respect.pride.delight.clarity.

humble.cartoon.beauty.reassurance.elegance.

precision.dignity.restraint.doubt.

comfort.loyal.uncommon.

eccentric.rare.

true.


Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise<3

Mix Iris-Burn For You-Lack Of Sleep... & You Get This.

I didnt think I was missing out on much until I boarded the Carnival Legend. I have had many 'firsts' in the past week on the same ship I didnt want to go on due to the poor reviews and the lack of company I would end up with...or so I thought. I ended up having a trip I will never forget...for more than one reason.

The first full day on the cruise everyone went to bed early...everyone but me. I ended up walking around the ship in my pj's and playing every piano I came to.The guy up on stage singing infront of the last piano I came to had a nice following of girls so I figured I would take a seat from a far. Im not those girls and I was determined to continue as one who will never be random to anyone...or just another face in the crowd. My life just isnt like that, and never will be.

He ended up being pretty awesome so I stuck around and before I knew it midnight had come and gone and I had spent the last two hours listening to some random guy. Thats not like me to stick around for anyone and it was even more odd he came down after and talked to me. I had no makeup on, in pj's and hair in a ponytail. Rough nor random were the words to put in place of the night.

Days past and I ended up burnt laying out at the pool listening to him play again. I was getting up to leave the pool and get ready for dinner when I walked over to the stage to converse with Mr. WSFjr. We had been seeing each other in passing the past few days and I figured it would only be right. By the end of that night we ended up walking around the boat talking till around five that following morning. We did about the same thing every day that followed until it was over.

I saw my first shooting star while laying on the wet deck staring up at the stars. I was also shown how to find the north star while laying in the dark with no sound except the wind, it was perfect. I was sang to most nights, played poker with new friends, saw amazing showes/comedy acts and spent time with some pretty special people. I kept telling myself that I would be leaving in the days to come but that didnt help at all when the time came.

I took away more from that boat than I could have ever dreamed. Me being there and everything that happened...it just felt right- it fit. Almost like I was there for a reason. I didnt even fully decide to go until about a month before- I was still trying to find reasons not to.

Looking back on it now- I have a better understanding.

I dont think it would be any kind of stretch to say that there was a feeling I would never be able to adequately describe coming away from that week for certain reasons most will never understand. God has reason for everthing.  Blessed was I for being at the right place and time for the first time in my life. It was an amazing trip- My brothers wedding to my amazing sister-in-law, a break from work, meeting some amazing people, and having a fun&safe trip.

" Who Knows What The Future Holds"
-Iris-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpO9MSEWpxc

Love goes to my girl Asonta who was on a different Carnival Cruise at the same time and had the same outcome...only God knows the reasons & what it holds for us :)

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Im Kind Of A Big Deal...

This week has been one of the hardest. I would love to write about it but praying about it makes more sense. I find myself at a crossroads from day to day about labels people put on one another. It’s one of the more difficult things about growing up – fitting into categories. I actually get nervous about one day having to define myself completely. When questioned about it, some days, to be honest, I just don’t know. For right now, I want to think that anything is possible, or could be a good fit, and that maybe, just maybe there is something insightful about not having a label just yet. Ill pray I find the answers I search for. Only God has the answers I need...& I will always put my trust with Him.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

& I want it all. It's gonna take more than that, hope that ain't all you got

I'm A Sucker For...
sleeping in on the weekends
shortbread cookies

hot baths at night

my black nail polish
making people laugh

being teased ;)

my little cousins
having things to look forward to
compliments

sarcasm

horses&4wheelers

I Love...
reading my Bible before bed

my MOM
intelligence

my pitbull Jade
Tybee Island

skating
quotes

weird dreams

people who are to the point

honesty
being remembered

& I Dislike...
waiting on this week to pass for the cruise
certain people that I have to tolerate due to binding circumstances
mothers who don't know how to take care of their chaps

people who do things for the wrong reasons
slackers/liars/cheaters/being disrespectful

slow computers
ignorance

the dark
cancer


Always&Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

& thats what I like the most

While the past week went by with everyone at the office calling for snow. I refused to believe it. I have had enough disappointments from the snow-along with to many other things that week to play along.

Around one o'clock it started to flurry. Once four came around- it was sticking. Still not wanting to get my hopes up, for another snow day like we had ten years ago, we left work shortly after. I went home and hurriedly packed my dog with some clothes to survive on for the next two days in LC.

Upon arrival I would have never thought the night and next day to come would be one I would NEVER forget...but it was. Chris came and picked me up and we headed to my brothers house to play in the snow. Kristina already had a head start on building her snowman...it was pure beauty out.

Chris dropped me off before nine because of the roads icing...but before I went inside I saw some of the guys I grew up with at the shop around from my house. I called, then walked over to see everyone. I piled in the truck with five guys and we headed out for part two of my amazing night. Ridding slick roads, sinking the truck while off roding in a swamp, being pulled out by more amazing people, tearing up pastures, and headed back to the house to eat.

I got dropped off at my moms house around one and attempted to go to sleep. The next morning I woke up at seven thirty wide awake and got picked up again to ride horses in the snow. We rode up to the top of the mountain in LC ( in the truck- don't try it haha) and could see forever. Everything in that moment was clear, pure, clean, and beautiful.

Its amazing the things a little snow can cover up and make beautiful-if only for two days. Being with my friends and family the past two days was the best thing for me after the weeks I had up until then. The friends&family I have are a different breed but God has blessed me with the most amazing/ crazy/ caring/ sweet people I could have ever asked for. They bring me back down to real life and make me miss being with them 24/7.

I like how I don't have to worry -or wonder, for that matter- where I stand with them. They tell me. No one does that. They pick on my five layers of clothes plus my camo coveralls; but they're still happy to have me pile into an already packed truck to play in snow; they like my messy hair and don't care if I wear any makeup.
I like how even when they're sober, they can say ridiculous things and not be embarrassed. I like that I get to act like I'm living in a movie and nothing else in the world but that moment matters. I like that I don't have to know the all answers. That they let me bust their chops. That we have grown so much, through so much, and we're still friends.

Going home the next afternoon, laughing. It's a memory I hold with absolutely no regret.
And regret, I know.

& I think that's what I like the most :)

some pics...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052013&id=1410939175&ref=nf#!/album.php?aid=2051029&id=1119900086

& video of our weekend
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052013&id=1410939175&ref=nf#!/video/video.php?v=108321922512642&ref=mf

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

She Is Love

Since Valentines is right around the corner I figured I would write something sweet...that would be the appropriate thing to do, right?

Then I came across a really good remake of the late song
"Color of Love."
I have fallen in love with the lyrics...for many reasons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZxeIguxBuU

"She Is Love"
by, Parachute

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around, But she takes it all for me. And I lost my faith, in my darkest days, But she makes me want to believe.

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain, But she waited patiently. It was all the same, all my pride and shame, And she put me on my feet.

And when that world slows down, dear. And when those stars burn out, here. Oh she'll be here, yes she'll be here, They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Because sometimes the only beauty you find is in the attempt...even with family.

Lets not ruin fun with the truth BUT...
I guess if this were a movie...it would have ended differently. But its not. This is not a fairy tale, and it's unbelievably disappointing that people with love at hand, countless blessings, and given effort have changed nothing. NOTHING. And I want to know who's to blame for that.

Sometimes I look back, and I'm hurt. I'm hurt by all of the shortcomings, and the lies that broke it all apart.

I guess all I can do at this point is let it go, pray, and write about it. Because life is unfair sometimes. You don't get what you give and in the end you end up burying expectations for your need for the way things used to be once upon a time...

but this is no fairytale.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3