A few things should be pointed out here, and I'm not saying any of these things because I have countless thoughts running through my head, although the multitude of thoughts are slowly driving me crazy, anyone would point out the same if they were the one in my shoes. By all means, try to follow this erratic writting session, but fair warning now. Learning a life lesson is never fun. Actually, it's about as much fun as if your parents took you to the county fair and made you sit from afar while you watched the other kids play. However, if the county fair was anything like the one in Lincolnton, you wouldn't have missed much. But that's beside the point.
Trusting someone, anyone for that matter, after you have learned a few life lessons can seem like an act of Congress. No, I do not believe in making people in your present and future pay for the mistakes of the many who did not make it further than your past. However, that mantra can be hard to follow at times.
Recently, it has come to my attention that I know a good number of people but most never really touch me. The reason for that is because I do not let people get close enough to where they could hurt me. My wall is up 99.9% of the time, unless I find myself at a breaking point. At that moment, and only then, is when I choose to talk to family or a close friend about why my hardened heart has melted like a Hershey's candy bar left out in the sun on the hottest day of summer.
I understand this is no way to act but up until recently, I never cared enough to even want to try and let someone in. I know you can't imagine it right now but rolling my eyes in sarcasm at the very thought of the quote, "& Then you meet that one person and your life is changed," was a daily thing. And just like anything else, that came back to bite me in the butt. Oh, the life lessons learned, on top of meeting someone by chance, plus that one random person changing your world, and in turn making your guard come tumbling down like the Berlin Wall, 1989.
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