I am a mom.

I am a mom...

I am a daughter, granddaughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, niece, employee, lover/girlfriend, writer, cook, driver, cleaner...and the list goes on...but most of all I am a mom.

It means so much. It changes everything.

I now reside in a body I do not recognize with a jean size I never thought I would fit into. I smell like spit up, sour milk, and maple syrup. I no longer eat cereal or many dairy products. I would be lying if I said my self esteem did not take a leap off the cliff after birth. Things that used to matter no longer take up space in my mind...they have been replaced with a whole new set of fears and concerns. My boobs are so enlarged from breastfeeding most of my shirts no longer fit. My wardrobe is now very limited. My day progresses during nap time and pauses every moment in between. Some days are harder than others but each day I count my blessings and thank God. I thank Him for an amazing family, friends, a sweet and adorable son, and a great father and man for my son and I. I can no longer make plans like I used to because I can no longer see past today...maybe this is a good thing. My need for control has been mellowed very much. This is all still so new to me...and I'm doing the best I can.

Ann Anise.

A Blessed Rant.

It's 11:26 as I sit down to write this rant. The past hour leading up to this point was full of tossing and turning in my bed with a restless mind. I'm exhausted but can not sleep. This is yet another joy of pregnancy...or the hell I currently reside in called the third trimester. Maybe I'm being dramatic but when sleep, or lack thereof, is on the line then drama plays a big part. Tossing, turning, and peeing an average of 10 times a night is a new normal now. Laying with back pain which I can catch no relief from with any new position, or waking of up from a dead sleep with severe legs cramps, that feels like someone is ripping off my calf muscle are both nightly events. All this happening in the midst of trying my hardest not to wake Zack up from his deep sleep. No wonder I'm tired all day. I know this is nothing that any other pregnant woman hasn't already gone through but I do like to share how this is going. I was laying in bed thinking about this blog so instead of laying there, holding my pee, and trying to get comfortable...I decided to just get up and write it.

Other than this rant, Jack, Zachary, and I are doing great. Jack moves so much these days and we are so excited to meet him. The countdown is in the single digits now and it makes me happy, anxious and have to catch my breath just thinking about how close we are to meeting this sweet little boy. Having a supportive and loving bunch around Zack and I makes all the difference in this life changing event for us.

Nise.

28 Weeks.

Three things no one tells you about pregnancy.

Three things no one tells you about pregnancy.

Not even the pregnancy boards on ivillage tell the secrets only unlocked by the pregnant woman herself.

First, your body will change. Your clothes wont fit anymore. Of course, right? Everyone expects that. What no one understands is YOUR CLOTHES REALLY DON'T FIT. Nothing. Panties, bra's, pants, shirts, jackets, and socks/shoes once your feet swell...and the list goes on. Unless you have endless funds to buy a whole new wardrobe, then you end of at the bottom of your closet floor crying, while laying top of a pile of clothes that have been tried on and failed to pull up past the spreading hips or over enormous breast.

Shaving anything below your belly after a certain point becomes not only a workout but a very dreaded event. This will always end with things only half-assed shaved and far from completed.

Sex, yes I said it, becomes the biggest joke ever. I applaud any man for attempting or participating with the bigger, more emotional, than desired version of the person they originally got pregnant. Its a sad and sometime uncomfortable sight that many stay clear of for nine months and kudos to those who keep on keepin' on.

I'm sure this will continue later...

Ann Anise.

27 Weeks.

23 Weeks.

How far along? 22 weeks and 2 days.
Total weight gain/loss: gained 11 lbs since 10/17/2012.
Maternity clothes? Are now a must. Bought a few new pieces today :)
Stretch marks? No new.
Sleep: VERY vivid dreams.
Best moment this week: Feeling him kick harder.
Miss Anything? Fitting in clothes.
Movement: A lot. Zack has even felt him kick. 
Food cravings: Pickles.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.
Have you started to show yet: Yes.
Gender: BOY.
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? My belly button is no more...sad moment when I realized.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but worried about my swelling.
Looking forward to: Agreeing on a middle name.

22 Weeks.

20 Weeks.

19 weeks.

How far along? 19 weeks. 1 day.
Total weight gain/loss: gained 10 lbs since 10/17/2012.
Maternity clothes? Pants.
Stretch marks? No new.
Sleep: Back hurts some nights. VERY vivid dreams.
Best moment this week: Feeling two light kicks while laying in bed.
Miss Anything? Sleeping on my stomach.
Movement: Very little.
Food cravings: I ate mayo today and loved it. First time in my life.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.
Have you started to show yet: Yes.
Gender: BOY.
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? In- but getting shallow.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but sinus infection has me down.
Looking forward to: Agreeing on a name.

Overview.

 

How far along? 16 weeks, 3 days.
Total weight gain/loss: Really? 5-7lbs honestly. It looks and feels like a lot more.
Maternity clothes? Those maternity jeans make an appearance now and then. I also have a belly band, but very few of my jeans fit anymore. All my work pants are still comfortable.
Stretch marks? One new. That's about it.

Sleep: Sleeping on my tummy is uncomfortable. Sleeping on my back...I wish but mostly sides.
Best moment this week: The excitement of waiting for out next appt this coming Thursday the 21st to find out the gender.
Miss Anything? Fitting in cute clothes.
Movement: None.

Food cravings: Spicy food!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not a thing.

Have you started to show yet: I have been showing, haha.
Gender prediction: Who cares as long as we have a healthy and happy baby.
Belly Button in or out? In and getting deeper.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but I do have mood swings.

Looking forward to: This next appt!

 

Nise.

13 Weeks.