The ability to speak does not make you intelligent

Once the truth comes out, because it always does, you get a slap in the face for just now realizing that you have loved someone that constantly lies to you. Over and over again, even after begging for the truth. Sometimes it feels like a punishment, for a sin I don’t remember committing. That's what happened. I got a big slap in the face (not literally) for realizing YEARS later that I was the ONLY one who did not know what was going on in my own situation. This behavior could, at best, be described as amoral, and at worst, just a hair shy of deliberately cruel.

When I found out I was not upset, but glad this person decided he could finally stop lying- for no reason. From his mouth pours paranoia and hurtful word and from his eyes, tears. Since it has come out- the truth has made him a stranger. There are very few remnants of the person I thought I knew. In this profound epiphany, I feel as though there’s been a death. When I realized everything I knew or thought was a lie- it was so much loss to contend with, each new thought becomes a small funeral. I found myself with emotions so close to the surface I was sweating grief. And lacking a corpse, I forced myself to bury my expectations and my need for the way things were- because the way things were was a lie. I didn't want to play this game, all I ever asked for was truth.

 With this person I hardly recognize now.

I never mean to confuse anyone, but if it wasn't clear, you should know I don't write about the current romantic climate of my life to protect my own interests. I write about my past- this is my way of letting go so I can start to forgive and move forward with my future.

& remember, there is never any reason to lie- about anything. The truth always comes out...but the truth is a lot more easier on the heart than the lies will taste coming out of your mouth.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise.