Thursday, September 24, 2009

City Of Angels*


It was lunchtime and I was on the bottom steps leading to out surgery center at my office. Its rare for anyone to go up or down them at lunch and I needed to get away.
I found myself praying...praying so hard to God. I was like Meg Ryan in the movie City Of Angels ( LOVE that movie) sitting on the steps praying and hoping to be heard.

I know God is busy and there are are many other prayers that should come before my mindless nonsense but I couldn't be strong in that moment. No matter how hard I tried every breath hurt.

On the way home it seemed like every song on the radio was about my life...it was crazy. The words spoken were to me, but they didn't help. They only confirmed what was already swirling in the air around me.

& now im going to go pray some more.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Saturday, September 5, 2009

''It was needless. It could have been prevented.''

This is a true story wrote in the Augusta Chronicle 9-2-01. This is my true story. Read carefully it might make you think twice about what you do, if your driving or ridding.
This is my brothers story. Dont let it happen to you!


Two Augusta men died early Sunday morning when the pickup they were in crashed into a home on Lake Shore Loop behind Lake Olmstead.
According to a Richmond County accident report, the driver of the vehicle, Shawn Robinson, 21, of the 2200 block of Martin Road, was traveling at a high rate of speed when the truck struck a road sign at 3:03 a.m. at the intersection of Lake Terrace and Lake Shore Loop.
Christopher Phipps, 21, of the 100 block of St. Barts Drive, also died in the crash.
After hitting the sign, the 1991 Chevrolet pickup continued through a nearby yard before it crashed into a home at 10 Lake Shore Loop.
The vehicle, wedged underneath the house, then caught fire, the report states.

Robert Miller (left) and Jim Tar and examine the charred hole left in Mr. Tar's home when a truck crashed into the home and caught fire Sunday. Both occupants of the truck were killed in the early-morning crash.
Richmond County firefighters, police and residents brought the fire under control.
Mr. Robinson and Mr. Phipps were pronounced dead at the scene by Deputy Coroner Grover Tuten.
They were taken to the crime lab for toxicology tests, Mr. Tuten said.
''We do that on every violent death in Richmond County,'' he said.
Although both victims suffered burns from the fire, Mr. Tuten said the cause of death was blunt force trauma from the impact of the crash.
''Fire was a contributing factor but not the single factor,'' he said.
Mr. Robinson, who was killed instantly, suffered third-degree burns over 25 percent of his body, two broken legs, a possible broken neck and a crushed chest, Mr. Tuten said.
Mr. Phipps died at the scene of the accident at about 4:15 a.m., Mr. Tuten said. The man sustained second- to third-degree burns to his lower body, a crushed pelvis, broken ribs and two broken legs.
The owner of the damaged house, Jim Tar, and his girlfriend, Kristen Varn, were not injured.
The home, which Mr. Tar built and has lived in for three years, was littered with wood and debris after the accident.
The crash moved the home three inches on its foundation, caused smoke damage and disabled some electrical wiring and the telephone line, Mr. Tar said.
When the fire started, Mr. Tar said, he ran outside but could not see anybody although he heard someone inside the truck.
''They were underneath the dashboard,'' he said. ''I heard his last gasp
.''
( that was my brother he heard, the driver was already dead)
Family and friends of both men arrived at the scene Sunday afternoon to survey the damage.
Sherry Montgomery, Mr. Robinson's aunt, said Mr. Robinson was married and had a child. He had recently started a new job.
''It's just an absolute shock,'' Mrs. Montgomery said. ''Shawn was a gentle type person, a good friend.
''It was needless. It could have been prevented.''

This was my brother september 2nd 2001. He rode with a drunk driver and died. There is no excuse for that. They were both drinking and careless...dont let this happen to you. My bother burned to death because he did not die on impact. This happens every day.
THIS CAN BE PREVENTED!
I Love You Always Chris <3 Always, & Forever, Ann-Anise <3

Monday, August 31, 2009

Faith In Possibility <3

Relationships in your life are meant to change you. They are lessons to be learned in disguise. Everyone you meet will be your mirror and another chance for you to grow. Whether you embrace this or not is up to you. I selfishly hope that you will be forced to keep up your growth for many, many moons on this matter...because you will in fact grown into a better person.

I'm also one blessed lady. The worry over my life in the near future is real. The worry over lessons to be learned is VERY real. But being part of a "we" makes it somehow less scary. And adjustment periods or no, I know when my they say that whatever happens, i'll be okay, it's true. We will continue to grow from each others lessons and balance each other from days to come. Sure, it'd be even better if I knew the guy I was ending up with were like, 97 years old, a billionaire, and taking his last breaths from an oxygen tank. But I'll take the lessons I can get ;)


And that is that. Do not think that for one single second have I taken it for granted. Instead of wishing for the demise of a happy relationship, maybe you could see this as proof that good things are sure to come? Lucking into certain things have restored my faith in possibility.
I'd like to pass a bit of that on, if I can.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

collection of pieces

Tonight is the perfect night. I have no picture to go with this blog because there is no need for one.

I'm looking off the hard wood porch onto the most beautiful scene I have ever seen. The night is peaceful and the winds have died down. The only sound I hear is the crashing of the waves onto the tan sandy shore. Now the wind has picked up ...just enough to blow my hair back. I can see the lighthouse in front of me as it turns for the long lost ships coming home. The sky has shades of dark blue, burnt orange, with just enough pink to know the sun has disappeared, and the darkest of purples to line the bottom.

Being out here makes you peaceful, calm, and collected. It is so far from the busy day to day that it makes you let go of everything so you can enjoy what is. Something about the beach makes me rethink things in my life. It brings the pieces together to make one whole me.

This half of a week has made me realize so many amazing things about my life;

my mom is the MOST amazing person I have ever known. to think back to all of the things she has done for my brother and me ( from big to small) has amazed me.

my grandmother has been one of the most patient people in my life. she has watched me jump off the diving board 6896803652065 bagillion times in the same way but still always clapped and cheered. she was there playing solitaire all day upstairs on the computer just because I didn't want to play barbies up there alone. she made gingerale into champagne. the smell of coffee and bacon will always remind me of her house in the mornings when mom had to drop me off before work. Grits with a slice of cheese, and butter came from her...so much of me came from her...

Its random things like that I think about while watching waves at night. I collect my life... all the pieces it may be in, pray, and try to be a better collection of me.

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3


p.s.-watching a sunset is VERY overrated... esp when your alone

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Neverland


I stepped over my piles of messiness and crawled into my bed. As I pulled my curly dark hair into a ponytail, I recalled several moments through the week I have tried to leave behind. I said nothing. At the very most the memories were like thoughts of of the Lost Boys. Not classy enough to be Peter Pan, though.

Their are some who would have felt bad, I know, and I would never blame them. But it’s like I said, enough is enough. Even Wendy finally abandoned Neverland when she got tired of the games and the reality that others would never grow up.

Darkness filled the corners of the bedroom. Only the light of my single candle lit parts of the room.
I will never bother to lie about it. Then I will leave, resenting growing up less, because Neverland is a place that requires a certain amount of naiveté to sustain its charm.

And it will be a very long time before I’m able to play make-believe again


Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Random

Random Things...

I'm irrationally offended by the overuse of punctuation. One exclamation point will do. Unless you are on fire.

I would have made a really shitty pioneer.

I love to wakeboard. Almost as much as figure skating.

I hate the sound of balloons popping

I can sleep...anytime, any day, anywhere.

I don't think I could start my morning without GoodMorningAmerica :)

I miss my little cousins more than anyone could ever imagine.

I wish my mom didn't have to work anymore...she deserves so much more than what is.

My brother will always be the smartest man alive... to me.

CPR classes should not last a hour & 45 min. That is just nonsense...esp when you used to have a card and just let it go out of date.

I wish my vacuum knew how to use itself. Its the only thing around my house I hate to do.

People who are not motivated aggravate me like no other.

Obama taking his time out of a press conference, about health care reform, to state that a white policeman acted stupidly because one of his black friends was arrested by him, was retarded. Stay on topic. & believe it or not....everything is not always about race.

Tybee Island sounds really good right now ;)


Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

Sunday, July 12, 2009

all of the wrong times...all of the right things


Just because you take the easy road doesn't make it the right way. One of my best friends reminded me of this yesterday. We sat down on the cement bench with our feet in the sand. The music from the band and conversations blurred together as we looked down at the ground and started talking. The stars and moon reflected off of the lake...it felt like a perfect summer night.

My friends from LC have a way of making me see things how they should be...and how they shouldnt be. They keep me in check, to say the least. They make me feel special, needed, and loved.

I catch myself feeling torn between that old life with them and my new life I have started after high school. I feel upset cause I dont know where I fit in anymore. I feel like im over so much about LC until I come home and spend time with my girls and guys that I love so much. We are family, we always have been. They own my heart...it hurts being away from them. They can make me smile on my worst days. I just feel like I have left all of that behind...all of it but them. They are the type of people who are still my friends even though I have messed up so much. They make me want to go back and do it all over...better.

"If you have always taken the easy road, been able to walk and run away...then you always will. Unless you want something more...then that changes"

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3