Cute & Cozy...For Now ;)

I have been so busy with things going on I have had no time to write.

I just bought my first house. A cute cozy townhome on the other side of town. I love it. About a month ago I had no idea where I was going to end up when my lease ended at my apartment. Now, I have my own place and I cant wait to get out of this place to move in it. Finally, a place of my own. Its great.

Besides the fact that I have had no time to write, I have had no time to go to the gym. I hate that. Now I feel fat cause I have not worked out in a month due to other time consuming task.

Also, I have found that the chore of picking out my own carpet, paint, and accesories is a harder job than it sounds. It has made me realize I hate making decisions that I will be stuck with for years to come...and that sucks cause I am being forced to pick all of these things to be stuck with. But I put my big girl panties on and finally made some choices...and believe it or not, im very happy with my choices....for now ;)

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise <3

End it with chocolate covered strawberries, bubble bath, candles, cosmo, & a glass of sparkling white grape juice :)

The tittle says it all. My day was so long that I would not let it end any other way. Yes pictured beside this is my cosmo, bubble bath, my new luffa sponge, and all of my amazing chocolate covered strawberries I made. Yes I made :)

So I lit all the candles, and started a warm bath. Pouring half the bottle of bubble bath in as well. I grabbed my cosmo, a glass of white grap juice, and my poor dog didnt see me for another hour and a half. It was great.

Once out of my steam room and bath, I headed to the kitchen. I got out my chocolate covered strawberries, grabbed a warm blanket and currled up on the couch. A movie going, candles burning, chocolate covered strawberries...and me. Yes, just me.

And it was one of the best ways I could have ever thought about spending time after a long day with the doctor on call :)

Always & Forever,

Ann-Anise

Click, Click...Pull.

Complications are sure to rear their ugly heads down the road, but for right now, I think you can expect all of my issues to rate at about the same level of seriousness as the stain on my pants. I've had problems more times than I care to admit. Yeah, misery loves company. Not that I'm saying im miserable, but I'm right there with you in finding solace in the fact that other people are in the same lousy boat I am. Money, love, career. Whatever. And I've probably (okay, more than probably) cheered for someone's failure when they have something I don't. Mostly because if they've succeeded and I have not, there must be something wrong with me. At least, that's the conclusion I'm tempted to draw.

Thankfully, there's an unlimited amount of happiness available in the Universe and it might just take the right set of circumstances to get your mitts on some. I will be the first to acknowledge that I simply got really, really lucky. And I knew it from moment one. When he was at the door that night, something inside me said (quite loudly, too), "there it is." And that was that.

Always & Forever,

-Ann-Anise <3

Bound To Change

I guess my heart was bound to change...

You cant trust someone you dont respect....and if you cant respect someone you cant love them. Time has a way of passing by...until I dont remember why, or how to care anymore.

I change everyday by the things that happen to me...but I refuse to be reduced by it.

The roar dies, just for a second, and I think I can hear one of my own thoughts for once. But no. It was another fake illusion I made up in my head...or so I was made to feel. Thing is, I always feel weird sorts of compulsion to please people. In fact, I piss people off all the time because my pretty little compulsion is to make things right. You there, why are you crying? This situation can be remedied! Here, let me. I know it comes across as bossy, and I imagine people resent it (how could they not?) that I care less about them liking me than I do about the ease and orderliness of their existence. I don't like to see people stressed, or in chaos, or crying. So I will do whatever it takes to stop it. Even if, it turns out, that means absorbing the stress myself. I might be broke, but I will make myself broker to stop you from crying. The end result being that I get cranky and need to nap a lot. Most of my life, in fact.

Obviously, this is something I should be talking about to a therapist of some kind. But we'll save that for a time when I'm not sleepy and rich. So, um, anyway, I think I'm going to go climb in bed now...<3

Always & Forever <3

Ann-Anise

Prayers <3

I pray at odd times of the day, but everyday. I pray for my family and their well being. I pray for my friends and their struggles. I pray for everyones happiness...and health.

I spent most of my night last night praying on my living room floor. It started out like a normal updated prayer that I felt needed to be said...but it turned out to be so much more than that.

I shocked myself by getting so upset midway through my prayer. Everything from the past few weeks has been building up and it came out...all at that moment. Once I got upset, I asked God to take away my pain. I felt empty and hurt...broken. I felt like there was no way out of it besides to pray.

I woke up today and felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt better. I knew God had heard me and taken my pain. I just felt in my heart God was taking care of me like he always does. I felt right <3

Always & Forever <3

Ann-Anise